The Great Playground Debacle

Wednesday, August 24th. A day that will live in infamy. (Me, dramatic?)

Step 1. Leave work and pick up the girls from Dad at our halfway meeting spot. Check.
Step 2. Go home, change clothes, and eat before going to church.... Problem. Garage door remote won't work. No biggie, just use the keypad to get in the garage. Shoot, it won't work either. If I were smart I'd have a key to my house like a normal human but nope, not me. (I know Mom and Dad, I'll get one made ASAP.) Turns out that the power is out in our area, hence the garage door not working. Ok, change of plans. To Chick Fil A we go. Fried chicken and a playground= easy way to kill time.

We eat and all is good with the world UNTIL we go to the playground. (dun dun dun...)

Addie and Emmalyn start climbing up the stairs and I sip on my frosted lemonade trying to get my chill on in the lovely 100+ degree weather. About 10 seconds later Addie declares that she needs to go potty. She honestly hasn't peed in her pants in like a year so I wasn't concerned. Before I could tell her to go down the slide quickly, I see "the look". And then I see dripping coming from the top of the playhouse tunnel. Lovely, just lovely. Before I can even process the situation, Emmalyn arrives to the top of the pee obstacle. I try not to scream and terrify Addie into staying in the tunnel forever in order to avoid my wrath. So through gritted teeth I coax her to come out of the playhouse in the least drippy way possible. Funny thing is that I've been the onlooker in this scenario and thought "oh, that poor mom" and then I snuck in to tell a worker to please douse the playground with bleach because some (heathen) child peed all in it. Thanks karma.

Addie is now out of the pee house and unfortunately/fortunately scared enough into standing by the table and NOT MOVING. Goal #2: Get Emmalyn out of the playhouse coated in as little urine as possible. Lucky for me, she was too scared to come down on her own which led to only one solution. Armed with my pumpkin spice hand sanitizer and tissues I made my way up... stealthily avoiding the drips of urine. So much fun. Keep in mind I was in work clothes. FYI heels and a pencil skirt are the perfect attire for cleaning up pee in a child's playground. At least the onlookers in the drive thru line received some free high quality entertainment. Who needs Netflix?!

Now that the playhouse was mostly clean and I was 100 levels of dirty, I managed to get Emmalyn out and escape to our car with a sliver of dignity. I'm not proud of this but I didn't have the heart or courage to tell an employee what happened. Lord, please let them bleach the mess out of that playground every night.

It's been a day now since the event occurred. The post traumatic stress has eased up and since the lesson at church last night was about grace I've decided that I'll let Addie live.