Dog days of Summer

Well, life has had its easier days…. Or maybe I should say less interesting days.

I’ll just start with the good things. First off, we welcomed our newest family member, Penny, to our crew at the beginning of July. It’s been fun, exciting, nerve-wrecking, and stressful. She’s truly adorable and mostly a sweet-natured pup that the girls want to hold ALL. THE. TIME. She’s been held upside down by her tail, knocked off the couch, picked up by the neck, and sprayed with the water hose. Girl’s gotta be tough to hang with my kids. The girls truly do adore her. Addie has been wanting a dog for at least a couple years now so we took the plunge. Andrew and I left on a Saturday morning to go to Sparta, TN to pick her up. My parents kept the girls and then we got back home around 2 and Addie came outside to meet her new surprise. She was beyond excited. She said “did she hatch out of an egg?” haha. Cute.

 In some ways its been easier than expected and in others its been much harder. I didn’t anticipate that I would need to monitor the girls and her non-stop. I had JUST gotten to a point where I didn’t have to supervise them constantly. Oh well, hopefully the newness will wear off and they’ll learn to be more gentle with her. I want Penny to like them and not be a terrified dog. She’s doing pretty good with house training. She’s def had accidents inside, mostly when the kids let her out of her crate when she shouldn’t be. PLUS my body has decided that 32 is a good age for me to start being allergic to dogs. BUMMER. I hope I “grow out of it”. Please Lord. Maybe our old yorkie Allie is sending bad voodoo my way since we gave her away and got a different dog. ;)

The dog has been the most exciting part of our summer other than a beach trip to Destin we took with Debra and the Wilkins. Besides almost losing Levi on day 1 at the beach, we had a great time. We had great weather and the kids had so much fun playing in the waves for hours. Emme wasn’t a huge fan yet. Being shorter than the waves kind of made them not as fun and being hot in the sticky sand wasn’t her favorite thing in the world. She just kept wanting snacks and to go back inside. She loves her food.

Emme just passed her 2 and ½ yr mark in June and Addie is going to be 5 in a month. In some ways they are playing better together but there’s still kind of a bossy toddler vs. pestering little baby vibe going on. They seem to encourage each other to get into all sorts of trouble too. Maybe one day I’ll be able to turn my back and not worry that they’ll smear toothpaste all over the bedroom.

Emme is almost 30 lbs and is jumping off the ground all the time. Her language has definitely taken off. She says full sentences constantly and loves to use her words to tattle tell now too. ;0 I guess she decided she’s earned it. She can almost say her abcs with some translation required. She’s almost riding her tricycle all by herself and likes to swing in the big girl swing on her belly. She still wants me to push her (A LOT) on her baby swing too though. Her Dora shoes are def her fave accessory even though she’s probably never seen the actual show. We took her crib front piece off because she had started climbing out a couple months ago. (We also tried letting Addie sleep in Emme’s room around then and lets just say after two weeks we decided we aren’t trying that again for a WHILE.) So now her bed is basically a daybed with a rail on the front. FOR THE MOST PART, she stays in it when we put her to bed. I think it’s only because she can’t open the door so she knows there’s no escape route. PRAISE THE LORD OF LORDS that so far she’s been pretty good at going to sleep. SO THANKFUL. I still rock her some but we’re trying to wean off of that. She still wants only Momma at bed time. I think 15 mths of nursing her to sleep is to blame. Oh well.

Now, onto the big (almost) FIVE year old. In some ways I’m ready for 5 because I’m ready for a little bit less of toddler meltdowns and dependency. However, that also means she’ll officially be entering big kid status. GULP. She’s been wanting to do everything by herself since she was born though so that hasn’t changed… except for now she actually can do some things well on her own like get dressed (eh, with a little help picking out the clothes), brushing teeth, getting her water, fixing breakfast (granted the other morning it was chips and marshmallows), “helping” with the dog, and cleaning up (ummm… somewhat). I am proud of her growth in many ways. Her prayers sometimes make me catch my breath they are so sweet and sincere. I love how she acts around friends at church and seems to treat others kindly. She’s still a little timid around peers and gravitates more towards her familiar friends like Harrison at church. She’s more of a fan of “reading” a book to me or Andrew than she is of listening to one. I haven’t pushed too much forced academics this summer so her mind can rest and play. She starts her Mt. Zion kindergarten in August as well as dance. I still wonder if I should’ve just started her in Monrovia but I do think she’ll do really well at Mt. Zion. I hope she’ll gain confidence in herself. I can tell that when she can’t do something perfect the first time she gets very frustrated. I hope she will learn to give herself more grace and gain more perseverance. I’m excited to see all that she will learn. I think she might be more interested in gymnastics right now but we’ve signed up for another season of dance so we’ll give that one more year then see what she’d like to do. I just want her to find a passion and enjoy it. She’s played a lot less with her animals and toys lately and has been into coloring and drawing more. It’s kind of sad to not see her playing with all her “people”.

It’s a busy, challenging stage but also very sacred. Thank you God for this time.

Sewing with Nana

The desire to create struck me hard this past week. I fell in love with some precious pinafore dresses online and just had to give them a go.

After lots of ironing, you-tube'ing, and a few "re-do's", here's how the finished product turned out:

I love finishing a task but one of my favorite parts of this project was when I found the perfect buttons from my Nana's old sewing box. They absolutely completed the dress. I love finding little treasures left behind from her. It's like we get to sew together even though she isn't here. I would much prefer hearing her voice teaching me or having her hands helping me but finding her things is such a sweet way of feeling her presence.

I also found her loaded bobbins in used camera film bottles. I imagine she did that before Alzheimer's took her mind.  Her disease clouded our memories of her but this reminded me of how resourceful, organized and proactive she could be... and just think, she did all this before Pinterest taught us "101 clever ways to organize everything".

Thanks for sewing with me Nana.

Pre-K and Diapers Graduation

Addie is now a graduate... of Pre-K. It seems surreal yet deserved considering all of the mornings we've spent over the past 4 years getting dressed and out the door. The changes I've witnessed over the years are pretty remarkable. She spent 2, 3, almost 4 years crying and clinging to me when I dropped her off but over the past 6 mths she proudly would hold Emme's hand and walk down the sidewalk into the school door without even looking back. There were still moments she would look for me before I drove off and wave excitedly. Those memories will forever be locked in my heart. She also started out barely knowing how to hold a crayon and now this year she's mastered writing her name. Her "e" is still a bit wonky but it's come a long ways! She is sounding out words and letters and rhyming all the time. Now when I try to read her a book she insists that she "reads" it to me. Her coloring is insanely more precise than it was even a couple months ago. It makes me so happy to see her brain becoming interested in all these things. I'm also so thrilled that last night at her end of the year performance she sang loudly and confidently on stage. She used to stand up there so timidly without barely moving or singing. It was like watching a different kid last night. I'm so glad she was able to feel confident! She will miss Ms. Jennifer, Ms. Crystal, Ms. Angie, Tommy, Violet and her other friends very much. Madison MMO was such a sweet environment for her these past 2 years.

 

 

Emme is also a graduate... of potty training! OH HAPPY DAY! For the past month or two she has really been going consistently and sometimes on her own. About a month ago (she was 2 and 3 mths) we started going to church and other public places minus the diaper safety net. I'm knocking on all the wood in hopes that she will continue doing well. Some naps she'll go without a diaper but most of the time she still sleeps with a diaper or pull-up. She also went to school with panties and a pull up on over them just in case of an accident. Her teacher Ms. Missy was very helpful and encouraging. Emme got really lucky this year too to have a wonderful school teacher.



This summer we MAY try transitioning to a toddler bed but for now she's not climbing out so in the crib she's staying!! We've already rocked her bedtime world up too much by letting Addie "sleep" in her room next to her crib. It's been about 2 weeks and I'm not seeing progress so this experiment is about to be OVER. Trying to get Addie going to sleep in her own bed again is not going to be an easy feat though. YAWN. The day she starts going to sleep easier I am seriously going to throw myself a party. I just pray every night she will be able to go to sleep easier. LORD GIVE US STRENGTH, WISDOM, AND PATIENCE. :) We're proud of her in many many areas but falling asleep needs some WORK. Oh well, day by day we'll get through it. I'm just thankful that our girls are healthy and growing. To God be the glory!!!

Toddler Theology

Oh to hear a child pray. Sometimes it's magical, inspiring, divine... and sometimes it's just hilarious. Emmalyn can bow her head and close her eyes with the best of 'em. The other night she was fervently bowing before the Lord and thanking him for her blessings (in a two year old kind of way) when she stopped and looked up at me for help. I cut in with "Thank you God for..." and she closes her sweet little precious eyes and says with gusto "juice... ho, ho... " and I cannot even remember the rest because I was cackling from laughing too hard. Way to nail that timing and delivery kiddo.


According to Emme, Minnie Mouse and Elmo have just as much of a right to be on the Ark with the other animals. I'll give it to Minnie mouse but Elmo... don't think he fits into any genus or species that I know of.


She also doesn't quite understand the baby in belly scenario too well either. We were praying for cousin Lindsey's baby in her belly the other night which led Emme to point to my belly and ask "Baby ...Mommy?" I said NOPE and she proceeded to ask about Sandy, Nana, Poppa, Addie, Levi, Ben, Bre, Erica, Drew, etc etc etc. My all time favorite had to be HO HO though. That one's understandable! When I told her that she was too little to have a baby in her belly her next person of interest went straight to Carter. Why of course since he is a whopping SIX MONTHS older than her. Ha. Oh the laughs.


Addie switches up our theology to a more serious place though. The other day she said she wanted to go visit Lucky (my parents' deceased dog) in Heaven with God. I told her no because I wanted her to stay with us and she casually just said she could take a plane and visit for a while. Ha, if only it worked that way.


When praying, she'll straight up say "God I NEED you to... make me feel better, heal my boo boo, make so and so well, etc.". She could be getting something right here though. I don't think God necessarily likes demands but when we ask for something aren't we really just saying "I NEEEED (blank)." I love how she still says mostly things from the heart and not what she thinks she's supposed to say.


Teaching them about God is a joy but also a challenge that requires a larger source that's bigger than Andrew or myself. For that I am thankful that God's Spirit, His creation and the love of our church and other believers can fill in all the large gaps we cannot fill.

Emme's 2nd Birthday

We decided to go with a sweetheart theme because Emmalyn truly has a sweet little heart.... and because I stocked up on some clearance Valentine's decorations last year.

She had sweet friends and family attend. Big thanks to Bre and Mom for helping me pull it all together the day of. Like always, we had a few last minute changes. The party was going to be on Saturday but the church had a funeral so we moved it to the Mercy building at 2 on Sunday. And like always, I had a hard time making a decision. :) It all turned out great. It was a surprisingly warm winter day and Emme got to enjoy playing and being the center of everyone's world. Here's to the terrible (scratch that, let's think positively... ) TERRIFIC TWOs BABY!

 

Emme's BEAU (Carter might not be in total agreement to this setup)

 

 

Fun friends all holding up sweetheart conversation hearts .... or not.

 I love how Addie composed herself even though she wanted more of the attention. The difference from 3 to 4 is magical.

Pink, red, heart-shaped food

Our Sweetheart!

No matter what Em-bug, ALWAYS remember that God created you in His image. You are loved and teach us how to love so very, very well.

Two sweet!

We just finished celebrating Emmalyn's 2nd birthday this past week.

I'm having a hard time not thinking of which heart craft I want to make for her party anymore. Instead it's that dull stage of winter and I'm reflecting about how my baby got to be TWO already!? Can we go back to 15 months and freeze that age for a while? I know that the ultimate goal is to raise them up and send them off but it’s soooo hard. Especially when they’re transitioning from sweet baby to independent, opinionated toddler. (I don't think Andrew and I produce the submissive type) She has been a joy-baby to love and knowing that she’s more than likely our last child makes her exit from baby stage bittersweet. At least she’s not leaving for college tomorrow… even though I might wish that during these next 2 years, ha. Hopefully her toddler years won’t be too terrible.

For now she's still my little baby-toddler and I get to see the amazing ways she is learning. Just over the past few months her personality has really started coming out. The girl can be a little comedienne when she wants to be. Her expressions are so funny. She loves repeating funny words Addie says like poot. She still loves her food. She has tasted her fair share of junk food from big sis so the “healthy” foods aren’t as easy to get her to eat. She still will eat any fruit and tries most vegetables.

Language has really taken off lately. She surprises me daily with a new word she can say. She loves reading books with me and helping with some of the words she remembers. (Llama llama red pajama, brown bear) She’ll say a handful of sentences like “I want to go” or “I want that”. Most involve wanting something ;). She’s also a good little singer when I sing songs to her. She’ll join in on Twinkle Twinkle little star, the wheels on the bus, God is so Good, and a few others. She loves to boogie with Addie to music as well. I think she has some natural rhythm. She might want to start dance class sooner than Addie did. Girl can do some yoga too! She has this one pose where she sticks her hands on the ground and one foot in the air. It’s so cute and normally gets lots of applause…hence why she loves to do it when people are around, especially grandparents.

All of a sudden, she’s become picky about her bedtime routine. She fights sitting in the rocking chair and reading a book because she knows that sleep comes shortly after. She’ll demand her water or baby or pillow or blankie and is super picky about her book selection once we get to that stage too. After we read the book, I rock her a couple minutes without the light on (because I still love my cuddles with her!) and then lay her in her crib. EVERY night she’ll cry for about 10 minutes. I am in NO RUSH to move her to a big girl bed anytime soon. So far she hasn’t tried to climb out yet. She still demands that MOMMY puts her to sleep (WHICH I LOVE) but will easily go to sleep with Daddy if I’m not around. I can tell that she’s becoming less of a mommy’s girl lately.

She and Addie sometimes play well together these days. Occasionally they can get really rough with each other. Normally Emme ends up in tears. Addie has a hard time accepting that Emme has a real opinion about her toys and is not afraid to let everyone know. However, most of the time Emme will just play with whatever scrap toys Addie has thrown to the side. Lately she’s shown interest in baby dolls. She enjoys wrapping them up in blankets and feeding them. She also likes puzzles and cutting apart fruit with a fake knife.

When the sisters aren’t fighting they LOVE being around each other and sit together at chapel in school. Addie will hold Emme’s hand and walk her into school most days. It’s a very “frenemy” kind of situation.

I thought Emme was going to be super easy-going but now I’m not so sure. Her opinions from what book we read to the shows we watch (BARNEY) are becoming louder. She still has a very sweet heart and loving personality though. She’s a great hugger, kisser, and cuddler. She’ll pat the couch to ask you to come sit down beside her.

Potty training has officially begun too. She does well most of the time. She likes to wear her big girl panties but normally has 1-2 accidents in them. She’s pooped on the potty a handful of times. If you ask her to go pee on the potty she’ll quickly say “NO” but by the time she’s sat down on it she normally complies and goes. She likes to use the big potty some too. I would hard-core go straight to panties but I hate to send her to school and make her teacher do all that extra work. (same for Nana… I don’t think she’s ready yet ;) For now we just are trying to do panties when I’m home. It somewhat breaks my heart to see her booty in big girl undies but when I think of the money we will save I suddenly feel better.

I'm trying to live in the present and not think too hard about her leaving babyhood behind (key word: try). For now, we are having so much fun with her and loving being her parents. We pray she will keep her silliness and sweetness. Thank you GOD for our Emmalyn Kate!!!

HOPE

(Thanks to Jody Vickery and Twickenham for this inspiring lesson!)
"In anxiety, we anticipate the possibility of danger, in hope we anticipate possible deliverance" Jurgen Moltmann
God called Abraham to leave behind everything he knew to follow Him. And he did. Expecting God's promises he ended up in a land of famine. (Sound like anything in your life?)
Anticipating danger, in fear, he devised a plan. (Again, does this sound like anything you've done?)He went to Egypt and coerced his beautiful bride into presenting herself as his sister. Pharaoh then took her as his wife and Abraham became a wealthy man. Sounds nice huh? Well, he eventually was found out and they were forced to leave. Abraham started out on a journey towards something and now found himself running from something. He started out hopeful but soon acted out of fear. He panicked, as we all do. 
What good comes from acting out of a place of fear?

God knows that He's got us and everything will be ok, eventually. Unfortunately, we can’t see when/how He's going to deliver us or always believe that He can or will.

Why would God deliver me when I’ve been so unfaithful and selfish and will his deliverance truly be enough? We then bundle up in our coat of fear and hesitation and stagnation. We love a little less and silence our God-given dreams because we think we will stay comfortable and protected. How can we bear our naked selves in hope when the fear of being let down is looming over us?

WE WILL BE LET DOWN, it's inevitable. People will wound us, our health will fail, money will come and go, our houses will get old. Our president is not who we want it to be. 

HOWEVER, God offers us a slew of promises that will NEVER let us down. 

HE WILL ALWAYS LOVE US.

HE WILL ALWAYS FORGIVE US.

HE WILL ALWAYS HEAL US.

We 100%, unashamedly can cast our hope on Him without fear. This won’t promise us a comfortable life, but it does promise us a loved, forgiven, ETERNAL life.

Should we then place no hope in things of Earth? Forget people. They certainly are not God and will hurt me. Why take care of my body if it’s going to fail me? Why have dreams for my children? Would living that way really be better? Being alone, miserable, and afraid with a whole bunch of regret. That doesn't sound very delightful.

Instead, what if at the end we get to say "well at least I gave everything I could!". Will loving ever produce regret? After my first fiancée left 3 months before our wedding, I wished I wouldn't have ever loved him. But if I didn't, I wouldn't have had a first love. I wouldn't have learned more about love. I wouldn't have found my next loves.


If we love as Jesus did, we have nothing to fear...

Perfect love casts out fear.

What is perfect love? Loving despite the risk. Think putting all your money into something with the risk of ZERO return on investment.

Terrible business plan but fulfilling life plan.

 Does God love us first without knowing if we will love Him back?

Yes, yet he loves us fully knowing that we will hurt him over and over and over again. That's the chance He takes because He tells us WE ARE WORTH THE RISK.

"While we were still sinners, God died for us."
Loving and giving of ourselves for no selfish gain or with no expectation is how we walk as God’s children. It is how we live out Jesus in us. It is where we find peace….joy… HOPE.

"We rejoice in suffering because suffering produces perseverance.  Perseverance, character, and character, HOPE. AND HOPE WILL NEVER DISAPPOINT." (Romans 5:3-5) What is that hope? GOD. Through every hurt we face, there is God.

 We will be let down, but God picks us up and binds us back together. Let’s walk in hope, not fear.